Gay Husbands Say the Darndest Things

Abstract

Gay Husbands Say the Darndest Things is a compilation of writings by Bonnie Kaye, M.Ed., the international counseling specialist for straight/gay marriages and 50 women from her support network in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom and Australia. The biggest problem facing women who unknowingly marry gay/bisexual men is the lack of a confession by their husbands. To keep their homosexuality a secret, gay men who marry straight women will blame the problems of the marriage on their wives even though it is caused by their own frustration of being stuck in a marriage to a woman. They would rather point the finger of blame at their wives instead of telling the truth about their homosexuality. Kaye's goal for this book is to alert women who are at the beginning of their discovery or recovery journey to read what others were told by their husbands before the truth was learned. The women who contributed the material went through the same doubts when they were "gay lighted" by their husbands for years with stories that were genuinely convincing. Kaye also explains why gay men who are hiding in straight-gay marriages remain there and sometimes even remarry another woman after the divorce. Kaye tells women to get their pens ready so they can make checkmarks next to the statements shared by the other women in the book revealing the comments their husbands have said to them. After counting how many similar statements they check off in the book, they will know the truth.